With Thanksgiving approaching, international students are talking about how the holidays affect their emotional well-being while being far from home. Recent and long-term immigrants reported higher levels of loneliness than those born in Canada.
A study conducted by the surgeon general of the United States, Dr. Vivek Murthy, suggests that loneliness could be more deadly than smoking 15 cigarettes daily or even more hazardous to health than obesity.
Socially, North Americans are going through a significant wave of loneliness. It seems that the more online communication there is, the more human contact is lost.
Federico Cuartas, an international student, came to Canada with the initiative to continue growing professionally in his 3D design studies after completing his undergraduate degree. He has been living outside of Colombia, his home country, for two years.
He has experienced several episodes of loneliness since the day he arrived. For him and in his country, festivities hold significant meaning. Although Thanksgiving is not celebrated in Colombia, his first celebration of this event was something that impacted what would be a year full of efforts and emotional changes.
“My first Thanksgiving was with people from my country that I barely knew but even if I really liked the meaning of the celebration and the moment we spent together, I thought how that would’ve been with my mom behind me,” said Cuartas.
Migration can indeed require a great deal of effort and dedication. Social, economic and emotional changes directly affect people’s behaviour and often lead to feelings of homesickness or a sense of absence or loss.
“I found myself having a hard time finding new friends around here because at the beginning there are a lot of cultures, and you always want to try to connect first from your country,” said Cuartas.
Holding on to the idea of continuing the habits developed in the city of origin could affect the social development in the new country. Making friends with a language barrier or simply being new can impact social development.
Overcoming these challenges requires openness, patience, and a willingness to step out of one’s comfort zone to engage with the community and embrace new social experiences.
“I didn’t have a close friendship that I could relate to,” said Cuartas. “We need physical touch, and I didn’t have that.”
Being in a crowded space or constantly accompanied does not mean that one cannot feel lonely. A study conducted by Forbes mentions that hugs could increase your feelings of safety and a sense of belonging.
Having someone to engage in these types of actions with can be crucial in combating loneliness.
“Homesick comes with loneliness but you can also feel lonely back home,” said Cuartas.
Julie Egers, psychologist, and counsellor at SAIT, says that international students are more aware of this feeling than those born in Canada.
“In my impression, sometimes international students do a better job of recognizing that they’re in a new place by themselves, and don’t take connections for granted,” said Egers.
“When you feel lonely, you’re more likely to engage in kind of more critical thinking about yourself about life and lower your confidence.”
Sometimes during the holidays, there is also a lot of social pressure due to the stigma of having a good time with your family or loved ones. International students realize they are going through a difficult time and decide to seek help, either in person with someone else, a professional or by calling or texting a loved one.
“When we externalize things and get it out with another person, we often feel better,” said Egers.
Cuartas has tried not to isolate himself, and when he feels lonely, he says that the best thing he can do is call a friend to vent, and sometimes tears are shed.
Crying is something that helps the human body release stress and pressure. Releasing endorphins and oxytocin, natural chemical messengers, helps relieve emotional distress.
Since arriving in Canada, Cuartas has lived with roommates, and although he didn’t have very good experiences initially, nowadays he lives with someone he appreciates and they have become very good friends.
Loneliness is something everyone has experienced at some point in their lives, and many times they tend to think that it’s wrong to feel this way.
“To combat loneliness, you can start to develop a little bit of routine to get you out of yourself trying to do things where you’re in public spaces where you’re at least in the presence of other people’s energy experiences, so when people are really lonely, it’s helpful to maybe have a coffee, do homework in a coffee shop or a public place,” said Egers.
Some tips from students for this Thanksgiving are:
“I keep myself from loneliness around holidays by spending time with my chosen family. I have a close group of friends who have always supported me through really hard times and so spending holidays with them has been really special,” said Kevin Learning, a student at SAIT.
“Take some time for yourself and do something seasonal. Try to celebrate on your own because I think those seasonal holidays are as important as marketing different times of the year as you are moving to different parts of your life,” said Emelie Shieve.
If you feel that the feeling of loneliness is already affecting your daily routine and distancing you from the things you enjoy doing, SAIT offers all its students professional help through counselling and other support tools.
There are also facilities like the recreational centre where you can engage in sports, and clubs to explore and delve deeper into your interests. In times of crisis, you can call 911 or the after-hours helpline available 24/7.
For additional support, he can reach out to the Calgary Distress Centre at 403-266-4357, the Community Resource Team at 403-299-9699, or the Abuse Helpline at 1-855-443-5722.
SAITSA also organizes events in which he can participate. For example, on Oct. 12, there will be a “paint and lunch” event from 11 a.m to 1 p.m. More details can be found on their events page.
When life feels tough, remember, we’re all in this together. Reach out, share, and find the strength in unity.
